Opinion: Thanksgiving works for me

By Michael J. Salamon

When I was young, probably second or third grade, I remember a rebbe telling us the day before Thanksgiving that we should enjoy our family and use the day as a “Seudas Hoda’ah,” a meal of thanks, for the bountiful lives we have in America. So much conflict over this secular holiday has developed over recent years. I, for one, simply do not understand the reasons bandied about. Some claim that the holiday of Thanksgiving is a religious one. Those familiar with the history of the day will know that while the Puritans are often credited, perhaps falsely, with starting the day for giving thanks and while it was randomly observed throughout the colonies and then the States, the promulgation of the day as a formal national holiday did not occur until President Abraham Lincoln issued a proclamation written by his Secretary of State William Seward as a national day of Thanksgiving. The proclamation is widely available to those who wish to peruse it and you will notice that the intent of the proclamation is to help boost morale and unify the Union during the Civil War.

Reading the proclamation issued October 3, 1863, you see that while Lincoln speaks of a god in it, there is no reference to a specific god or religion; rather the proclamation uses the phrases “Almighty Hand” or “The Most High.”  If nothing else, Lincoln respected an individual’s rights to their religious beliefs and did not instruct the observation of a specific religious creed for Thanksgiving.

Turkey is not really an issue for me personally. I like turkey but it does not like me, so I usually eat chicken. As far as whether or not we can even eat turkey, as some claim that there is no tradition for this particular fowl as being kosher, Rabbi Dr. Ari Greenspan has found that there is a tradition for eating turkey and has uncovered a sefer written by an Italian rav and shochet which includes drawings of all the birds that are kosher, including turkey. In fact, in an article entitled “Is Thanksgiving Kosher?” Rabbi Michael Broyde addresses all these issues and the subtle halachic distinctions between the positions taken. Rabbi Broyde concludes, “Halakha permits one to have a private Thanksgiving celebration with one’s Jewish or secular friends and family. For reasons related to citizenship and the gratitude we feel towards the United States government, I would even suggest that such conduct is wise and proper.”

The real focus for Thanksgiving for me is that it is a holiday that allows family to get together easily. Yes, some of us do work at least part of the day. The holiday always comes on a Thursday, which may make it easier or harder to prepare for Shabbat depending on whether you use the leftovers for Shabbat. The beauty of Thanksgiving Day is that we can invite relatives who we might not otherwise invite, either because there is not enough room for them to stay over, or because the sanctity of religious holidays may not be observed by them. It is an interesting twist of emotional insularity if we avoid approaching Thanksgiving in this way. People make the argument that they would love to have less or non-observant relatives over for a religious holiday so that they can see what a Yom Tov should be like. True, Thanksgiving is not a Jewish holiday but you can invite those individuals over and give them a taste of kosher tradition without a concern for chilul hayom (desecrating the day). You can even say a dvar Torah at the meal. The importance of family time at family dinners has been the subject of a great deal of research. It has been determined that family meals, even meals with extended family, have a protective effect on children and may reduce rates of eating disorders, anxiety and even add a level of cohesiveness and nurturing that is difficult to gain from other activities.

In 2004, the surgeon general suggested that every family use Thanksgiving Day as Family History Day.  Families gather on this day and can use it as a time to record their medical family history. From a psychological perspective, families can gather on Thanksgiving Day and enjoy the warmth and support that a family day can bring. I am looking forward to my chicken and cranberry sauce and maybe I will even finish the mishnayos I am learning by Thanksgiving and make a siyum.

Dr. Michael Salamon is the founder and director of ADC Psychological Services, PLLC, in Hewlett, NY. His recent books include Every Pot Has a Cover: A Proven Guide to Finding, Keeping and Enhancing the Ideal Relationship, published by Rowman & Littlefield.     When I was young, probably second or third grade, I remember a rebbe telling us the day before Thanksgiving that we should enjoy our family and use the day as a “Seudas Hoda’ah,” a meal of thanks, for the bountiful lives we have in America. So much conflict over this secular holiday has developed over recent years. I, for one, simply do not understand the reasons bandied about. Some claim that the holiday of Thanksgiving is a religious one. Those familiar with the history of the day will know that while the Puritans are often credited, perhaps falsely, with starting the day for giving thanks and while it was randomly observed throughout the colonies and then the States, the promulgation of the day as a formal national holiday did not occur until President Abraham Lincoln issued a proclamation written by his Secretary of State William Seward as a national day of Thanksgiving. The proclamation is widely available to those who wish to peruse it and you will notice that the intent of the proclamation is to help boost morale and unify the Union during the Civil War. Reading the proclamation issued October 3, 1863, you see that while Lincoln speaks of a god in it, there is no reference to a specific god or religion; rather the proclamation uses the phrases “Almighty Hand” or “The Most High.”  If nothing else, Lincoln respected an individual’s rights to their religious beliefs and did not instruct the observation of a specific religious creed for Thanksgiving.

Turkey is not really an issue for me personally. I like turkey but it does not like me, so I usually eat chicken. As far as whether or not we can even eat turkey, as some claim that there is no tradition for this particular fowl as being kosher, Rabbi Dr. Ari Greenspan has found that there is a tradition for eating turkey and has uncovered a sefer written by an Italian rav and shochet which includes drawings of all the birds that are kosher, including turkey. In fact, in an article entitled “Is Thanksgiving Kosher?” Rabbi Michael Broyde addresses all these issues and the subtle halachic distinctions between the positions taken. Rabbi Broyde concludes, “Halakha permits one to have a private Thanksgiving celebration with one’s Jewish or secular friends and family. For reasons related to citizenship and the gratitude we feel towards the United States government, I would even suggest that such conduct is wise and proper.”

The real focus for Thanksgiving for me is that it is a holiday that allows family to get together easily. Yes, some of us do work at least part of the day. The holiday always comes on a Thursday, which may make it easier or harder to prepare for Shabbat depending on whether you use the leftovers for Shabbat. The beauty of Thanksgiving Day is that we can invite relatives who we might not otherwise invite, either because there is not enough room for them to stay over, or because the sanctity of religious holidays may not be observed by them. It is an interesting twist of emotional insularity if we avoid approaching Thanksgiving in this way. People make the argument that they would love to have less or non-observant relatives over for a religious holiday so that they can see what a Yom Tov should be like. True, Thanksgiving is not a Jewish holiday but you can invite those individuals over and give them a taste of kosher tradition without a concern for chilul hayom (desecrating the day). You can even say a dvar Torah at the meal. The importance of family time at family dinners has been the subject of a great deal of research. It has been determined that family meals, even meals with extended family, have a protective effect on children and may reduce rates of eating disorders, anxiety and even add a level of cohesiveness and nurturing that is difficult to gain from other activities.

In 2004, the surgeon general suggested that every family use Thanksgiving Day as Family History Day.  Families gather on this day and can use it as a time to record their medical family history. From a psychological perspective, families can gather on Thanksgiving Day and enjoy the warmth and support that a family day can bring. I am looking forward to my chicken and cranberry sauce and maybe I will even finish the mishnayos I am learning by Thanksgiving and make a siyum.

Dr. Michael Salamon is the founder and director of ADC Psychological Services, PLLC, in Hewlett, NY. His recent books include Every Pot Has a Cover: A Proven Guide to Finding, Keeping and Enhancing the Ideal Relationship, published by Rowman & Littlefield.