58.0°,
Rain Fog/Mist Opinion: Kosher values
Issue of April 24, 2009 / 30 Nissan 5769
There is a story told about the horses that pulled the wagon of the Baal Shem Tov, the individual credited as the founder of Chassidus of the 18th century. According to this fable, these two horses were able to transport the Kabbalistic giant at speeds two to three times faster than any other pair of horses could. One day the horses started to discuss their strange and powerful abilities. After some dialogue they realized that they, like their owner, might also be special and decided that they could very well be angels of a sort. “If we are angels,” they reasoned, “then there is no need for us to eat. We do not need to take part of any subsistence available to us in this world. After all, angels do not need food.” So the two horses agreed to stop eating. After a period of time, they died of malnutrition.
In my experience recently, I have begun to wonder if we have not become somewhat like the two foolhardy horses of the myth. We believe that we are so much like angels, so above the reality, that we may have put ourselves on the road to self destruction. We have developed an approach to spirituality that is based on cognitive dissonance, where we have changed religious attitudes to accommodate behaviors, even if the behaviors make little or no sense. This is especially troubling in the area of childhood sexual abuse in the Jewish community.
In November 2007 a study appeared in the American Journal of Psychiatry which, in essence, reported that there was a rate of childhood sexual abuse in Orthodox women somewhat comparable to the general population. Rather than working with the concept that a problem exists, representatives of the insular Hareidi community attacked nuances of the study and its authors as a way to devalue the findings. It was actually somewhat humorous watching how individuals with no training at all in research design and methodology attempted to discredit the study. While there were questions regarding the sample obtained in the study and its ability to be applied to a broader population, many of the critics chose to totally discredit the report. I, with advanced degrees in both psychology and research, was personally on the receiving end of a tirade of e-mails from a spokesperson for a religious organization in which I was called “dishonest” and full of “imaginings” for allegedly being “a rape victim advocate” who supported the researchers and the study.
Since that time, several cases of sexual abuse in the Orthodox world have come to the fore and a few have even been publicly prosecuted. An Orthodox assemblyman, Dov Hikind, convened a conference in September 2008 to create an environment in which the topic could be addressed and those abused would find a way to come forward without fear of losing community and family support or even worse, become a target for retribution. For several months Hikind told reporters from the New York Times, The Jewish Star, The Forward and other papers that he had collected “1000 dossiers” of incidents of abuse by “over 60” individuals. In the last few days he scaled back his numbers. He also originally supported a strong bill that would extend the statute of limitations against perpetrators of these crimes. He has also recently voted for a less stringent bill. As a result, some have accused him of backpedaling on this very important issue.
One of Mr. Hikind’s accomplishments though, seems to be the development of a working group within the Brooklyn District Attorney’s office created solely to fight sexual abuse in Hareidi neighborhoods. At this point the D.A.’s office is reportedly prosecuting 19 such cases. Not surprisingly, a spokesman for the Hareidi community called the D.A. corrupt and untrustworthy. The reason given was that the D.A. was lacking sincerity because he could have been prosecuting sexual abuse cases for the last two decades but chose not to do so. Furthermore Rabbi Meir Fund, a well respected member of the community known for his religious and Kabbalistic insights has been quoted as saying that “the secular authority deals with a different value system than ours.”
If by that, he means that the authorities are in a better position to investigate, prosecute and follow up with criminals and perpetrators, then he is correct. That, however, is probably not what he means. It is more likely that he is suggesting that he is not supportive of the D.A.’s efforts. This attitude is not unlike the perspective taken by the horses of the Baal Shem Tov. The authorities are available. If you do not use their abilities, as the horses dismissed food, only bad things will happen. Furthermore, it is clear that the authorities did not pursue cases in the past because people were instructed by these very same rabbis not to report them.
All the major Poskim (religious decisors) have determined that sexual abusers of children must be reported to the authorities. Several have even stated that there is no such thing as a statute of limitations within halacha in terms of reporting and prosecuting such cases. Yet, there are those in these very same communities who reject their decisions. For the sake of our survival, we must not let erroneous religious attitudes cause us to choose self-destructive behaviors.
Dr. Michael Salamon, a Fellow of the American Psychological Association, is the founder and director of the Adult Developmental Center in Hewlett, NY. He is the author of numerous articles and several psychological tests. His recent books include "The Shidduch Crisis: Causes and Cures" published by Urim Publications, and "Every Pot Has a Cover: A Proven Guide to Finding, Keeping and Enhancing the Ideal Relationship" published by Rowman & Littlefield.
