Lawyer's Brief: A lawyer's guide to a better marriage

Notwithstanding all the jokes about lawyers, there is no question that society would come to a grinding halt without legal counsel, and the role played by so many, in so many fields. From immigration to real estate, criminal cases to bankruptcy, lawyers act as intermediaries, guiding and often negotiating through difficult issues. It occurred to me recently that the very same principles that attorneys rely on in their everyday practice would likely make for a truly creative marriage guide.
Let’s start with the beginning of a case. Every case must first be analyzed to see if the claim is within the “statute of limitations.” In plain English that means you can’t sue for things that happened too long ago, as the evidence is no longer available, its unfair to keep claims open forever, and society wants an end to gripes and complaints. Society accepts the idea of an arbitrary cutoff date for cases, commonly known as the statute of limitations.
What a wonderful idea to bring to a marriage. Sure, some issues are worth fighting over, fighting about, or fighting for. There are things you want addressed, corrected, and discussed. But there should also be a cut off, a time where you can no longer bring up such “old issues,” a statute for old complaints. A time to move on and let it go. When an old issue arises, pretend that a judge just decided that your complaint is too old and well… it’s dismissed.
This brings me to the complaint itself. One of the rules of litigation is that a complaint must clearly state a “cause of action.” This means that you can’t just sue someone because you’re either angry, used to be angry but you forgot why, or you just had a bad day. In court, you must articulate your position, carefully and slowly, paragraph by paragraph so that your adversary can respond paragraph by paragraph. Imagine forcing that one on your spouse, or better yet, try forcing that on yourself.