Facing Facebook

I like Facebook. It should be as simple as that. So why should I feel the need to defend my time spent using that social medium, when I’m only one of 800 million active users today? I have connections with both close and distant friends on Facebook, have reunited with old elementary school chums and made new acquaintances that have turned into friendships. On the other hand, I know people who absolutely won’t join for one reason or another, some who secretly check out Facebook posts through their kids’ or husband’s accounts.

We’ve all heard the criticisms against Facebook; it’s a waste of time, shows way too much information, presents opportunities for danger from strangers and hackers, causes a loss of social skills, ruins spelling and grammar, makes rude language and vulgar photographs accessible, etc… For me, the benefits definitely outweigh the downside.

In fact, all of the negative aspects can readily be found in the world outside Facebook. Watching mindless TV may be a waste of time, books and magazines can offer “tmi”, and any self-centered activity may contribute to a loss of social skills. Profanity is heard everywhere, and pornography is available at newsstands and cable for those who seek it. Hacking can happen to your ATM or credit card. Writing skills are lost not due to word processing, but to laziness.

The waste of time critique is totally subjective. We “lose” time viewing movies, playing video games, doodling or day dreaming. But leisure activities are a very personal choice by an individual to relax and reenergize before the next “important” activity. Spare time activities can open up one’s channels to renewal and creativity. Little interests me on TV, but the occasional series that piques my interest has me hooked. Seinfeld, Mad Men, Srugim make me laugh and cry and help me recharge.

Some of my friends love reality TV. I think of Facebook as a sort of reality show about people I know. Like on The Apprentice or The Biggest Loser, what I see is a heavily edited window into people’s lives. We post photos, comments or videos to make a statement, ignite a discussion or just show off family. We update a status to elicit a reaction, or to let you know about a happening or cause.

Some young people are less cautious than older Facebook users. College guidance is cautioning them to clear their accounts before applications and job searches. Carefree posting of comments and photos could be regrettable later. Younger users grew up with the Internet age; they are therefore, unafraid of the pervasiveness of information and readily contribute to it. I tend to be more cynical and choosy about what I read and what I put out there, possibly a symptom of my generation.

As with the other media, I control what information I absorb from Facebook. I decide whether to give it my attention or let it go. I can “friend” people, accept friends, ignore requests or even “de-friend” an annoying person. I can block status updates that are too unsavory for my taste. I can join a discussion or Facebook stalk others, be active or just a voyeur. Either way it’s my call, as the master of my own Facebook universe.

Facebook is the easiest way for me to connect to my family and friends around the world. Instead of emailing large jpeg files, I post photos of family events and outings that my cousins can easily check out. I see bar mitzvah photos taken only moments earlier by mishpocha at Masada or the Kotel and feel as if I’m there. I view pictures of my friend’s son’s swearing in ceremony in the IDF and choke up with pride as if I was standing beside her at the army base in Israel. I share nachas with friends as we kvell about a newborn’s photo or a wedding portrait. Facebook is a social medium that brings us together!

I came to Facebook a bit late in the game. Although I studied computer science and worked in the field in the ‘80’s, my computer savvy declined shortly after that. We didn’t own a personal computer until about a dozen years ago when a close relative convinced me it would be useful for our ten year old’s homework. He thought we were stunting his learning growth by not providing a home computer. I was eager to check out Amazon, read breaking news reports, and get with the program, so to speak, and we acquiesced.

A few upgrades later, I still prefer using my home computer with its corded mouse and full size wired keyboard. Our sons were urged by their universities to buy Macs for their school work, but I’ve never learned to use one. I use a “stupid” phone, so until last week I had internet access only on our big old home computer. I finally got an Ipad after an entire year of deliberating about the best portable device for me. I can sit anywhere and connect with wifi, (preferably by a sunny window or at the beach!) to type up an essay, write an email, Google, shop and have fun with Facebook.

Facebook was launched in 2004 but I joined in September 2008 when our second son went to Israel for his gap year. I forced a camera on him but was afraid he’d lose it before he used it. Instead, the girls on his program took up the slack, snapping constant photos, posting and tagging them immediately on Facebook. Through my online friendship with my son we saw uploaded pictures of him. My husband and I were thrilled to see him safe and happy.

“Liking” things on Facebook is a useful tool. I “like” pro-Israel organizations, American and foreign newspapers, authors, culture, food-related and yoga groups. I get news updates and educational tidbits about books, art, yoga and recipes. It was through Facebook that I found out about Gilad Shalit’s imminent release and spent that night following it live on an Israeli website. It’s where I saw photos of my Israeli cousin’s visit to Cuba to see my uncle. It is how I keep up with my friend in Tel Aviv, so the next time I visit her we’ll be right up to date. And it was through Facebook that she organized a live reunion of old high school friends who hadn’t been together in years.

I tried a Twitter account too and “followed” some people but without a smart phone, it’s old news. The challenge of fitting a statement into 140 characters is cool, but since I’ve reached my info and leisure time limits, I’ll forgo tweeting. Who knows what new technology 2012 will bring? I wonder for how much longer dictators will attempt to suppress knowledge in this information age. In the Western world we are jaded about free access to info while in Cuba, China and others, it’s harder to get. The “Facebook revolution” which began in Egypt last year has spread like wildfire. Facebook was integral in organizing Occupy Wall Street, protests in India and Russia. Online forums are inevitably opening up the world.

No matter how we connect, let’s hope all the news we get is good news and that new communication technology brings us closer.

Miriam Bradman Abrahams is Cuban born, Brooklyn bred and lives in Woodmere. She organizes author events for Hadassah, reviews books for Jewish Book World and is very slowly writing her father’s immigration story. She is teaching yoga at Peaceful Presence Yoga Studio. mabraha1@optonline.netOn the other hand, I know people who absolutely won’t join for one reason or another, some who secretly check out Facebook posts through their kids’ or husband’s accounts.

We’ve all heard the criticisms against Facebook; it’s a waste of time, shows way too much information, presents opportunities for danger from strangers and hackers, causes a loss of social skills, ruins spelling and grammar, makes rude language and vulgar photographs accessible, etc… For me, the benefits definitely outweigh the downside.

In fact, all of the negative aspects can readily be found in the world outside Facebook. Watching mindless TV may be a waste of time, books and magazines can offer “tmi”, and any self-centered activity may contribute to a loss of social skills. Profanity is heard everywhere, and pornography is available at newsstands and cable for those who seek it. Hacking can happen to your ATM or credit card. Writing skills are lost not due to word processing, but to laziness.

The waste of time critique is totally subjective. We “lose” time viewing movies, playing video games, doodling or day dreaming. But leisure activities are a very personal choice by an individual to relax and reenergize before the next “important” activity. Spare time activities can open up one’s channels to renewal and creativity. Little interests me on TV, but the occasional series that piques my interest has me hooked. Seinfeld, Mad Men, Srugim make me laugh and cry and help me recharge.

Some of my friends love reality TV. I think of Facebook as a sort of reality show about people I know. Like on The Apprentice or The Biggest Loser, what I see is a heavily edited window into people’s lives. We post photos, comments or videos to make a statement, ignite a discussion or just show off family. We update a status to elicit a reaction, or to let you know about a happening or cause.

Some young people are less cautious than older Facebook users. College guidance is cautioning them to clear their accounts before applications and job searches. Carefree posting of comments and photos could be regrettable later. Younger users grew up with the Internet age; they are therefore, unafraid of the pervasiveness of information and readily contribute to it. I tend to be more cynical and choosy about what I read and what I put out there, possibly a symptom of my generation.

As with the other media, I control what information I absorb from Facebook. I decide whether to give it my attention or let it go. I can “friend” people, accept friends, ignore requests or even “de-friend” an annoying person. I can block status updates that are too unsavory for my taste. I can join a discussion or Facebook stalk others, be active or just a voyeur. Either way it’s my call, as the master of my own Facebook universe.

Facebook is the easiest way for me to connect to my family and friends around the world. Instead of emailing large jpeg files, I post photos of family events and outings that my cousins can easily check out. I see bar mitzvah photos taken only moments earlier by mishpocha at Masada or the Kotel and feel as if I’m there. I view pictures of my friend’s son’s swearing in ceremony in the IDF and choke up with pride as if I was standing beside her at the army base in Israel. I share nachas with friends as we kvell about a newborn’s photo or a wedding portrait. Facebook is a social medium that brings us together!

I came to Facebook a bit late in the game. Although I studied computer science and worked in the field in the ‘80’s, my computer savvy declined shortly after that. We didn’t own a personal computer until about a dozen years ago when a close relative convinced me it would be useful for our ten year old’s homework. He thought we were stunting his learning growth by not providing a home computer. I was eager to check out Amazon, read breaking news reports, and get with the program, so to speak, and we acquiesced.

A few upgrades later, I still prefer using my home computer with its corded mouse and full size wired keyboard. Our sons were urged by their universities to buy Macs for their school work, but I’ve never learned to use one. I use a “stupid” phone, so until last week I had internet access only on our big old home computer. I finally got an Ipad after an entire year of deliberating about the best portable device for me. I can sit anywhere and connect with wifi, (preferably by a sunny window or at the beach!) to type up an essay, write an email, Google, shop and have fun with Facebook.

Facebook was launched in 2004 but I joined in September 2008 when our second son went to Israel for his gap year. I forced a camera on him but was afraid he’d lose it before he used it. Instead, the girls on his program took up the slack, snapping constant photos, posting and tagging them immediately on Facebook. Through my online friendship with my son we saw uploaded pictures of him. My husband and I were thrilled to see him safe and happy.

“Liking” things on Facebook is a useful tool. I “like” pro-Israel organizations, American and foreign newspapers, authors, culture, food-related and yoga groups. I get news updates and educational tidbits about books, art, yoga and recipes. It was through Facebook that I found out about Gilad Shalit’s imminent release and spent that night following it live on an Israeli website. It’s where I saw photos of my Israeli cousin’s visit to Cuba to see my uncle. It is how I keep up with my friend in Tel Aviv, so the next time I visit her we’ll be right up to date. And it was through Facebook that she organized a live reunion of old high school friends who hadn’t been together in years.

I tried a Twitter account too and “followed” some people but without a smart phone, it’s old news. The challenge of fitting a statement into 140 characters is cool, but since I’ve reached my info and leisure time limits, I’ll forgo tweeting. Who knows what new technology 2012 will bring? I wonder for how much longer dictators will attempt to suppress knowledge in this information age. In the Western world we are jaded about free access to info while in Cuba, China and others, it’s harder to get. The “Facebook revolution” which began in Egypt last year has spread like wildfire. Facebook was integral in organizing Occupy Wall Street, protests in India and Russia. Online forums are inevitably opening up the world.

No matter how we connect, let’s hope all the news we get is good news and that new communication technology brings us closer.

Miriam Bradman Abrahams is Cuban born, Brooklyn bred and lives in Woodmere. She organizes author events for Hadassah, reviews books for Jewish Book World and is very slowly writing her father’s immigration story. She is teaching yoga at Peaceful Presence Yoga Studio. mabraha1@optonline.net