Caleb and Nachbi, two men at the crossroads

Our choices can be practical and safe, or informed by hope, trust and confidence.”

Imagine standing at a crossroads. We have all been there. We have all experienced moments in our life’s journey when we had to make a crucial choice and decide whether to proceed along one road or along another. (Except for Yogi Berra, of course, who famously said, “When you come to a fork in the road, take it.”)

We have also experienced moments much further along in our journey, often many years later, when we reflected back upon our decision and wondered what would have been if we had pursued the alternative road.

Now imagine standing at a crossroads together with a close friend. Both of you face an identical choice, either this road or that. One of you chooses one road, and the other selects the other. Each would have an intriguing tale to tell if comparing the results many years later.

I have been fascinated by the experiences of survivors of the Holocaust. I especially remember discussions I had with one of them (let’s call him Mr. Silver). He would tell me about the hellish years he spent fleeing and fighting the Nazis in the forests of Poland. He had a companion then (let’s call him Simon). Mr. Silver and Simon were boyhood friends who together witnessed the murder of their parents, and together they managed to escape and join the partisans. Eventually, they were both caught and incarcerated in prisons and concentration camps.

In his story, Mr. Silver compared his attitude throughout those horrific times with the attitude of his friend Simon. “You know me,” he would say, “and you know how I’ve always seen the bright side of things, the hopefulness of every situation, however dire.” Indeed, I assured him that I could vouch for his consistent optimism.

“As much as I was an idealist,” he would continue, “so was Simon a hard-core realist. He saw things as they were and dealt with them accordingly. He had no illusions whatsoever of hope.”

Many years after my conversation with Mr. Silver, I met Simon and, together with him, was able to compare the life he led subsequent to the Holocaust, and subsequent to his crossroad decisions, with the life of Mr. Silver.

Simon, after the war, chose not to marry and chose to live in a rather remote American community with little contact with other Jews. Mr. Silver married, raised a large family with numerous grandchildren, and was very much involved with Jewish causes, and eventually chose to live out his final years in the state of Israel.

Two individuals at the same crossroads, making different decisions, with starkly different life outcomes.

• • •

In this week’s Torah portion, Shelach, we witness individuals at the crossroads who make radically different decisions and whose lives thereby played out very differently.

Let us focus, for example, on the personalities of Nachbi ben Vofsi, prince of the tribe of Naphtali, and of Caleb ben Yefuneh, prince of the tribe of Judah. Up until the dramatic moment described in this week’s parsha they led almost identical lives. They both experienced the Exodus from Egypt, the miraculous splitting of the Red Sea, the revelation at Mount Sinai, and opportunities for leadership of their respective tribes. 

They were both assigned to spy out the land of Canaan, and they both crisscrossed the Promised Land and returned to give their reports. But then we read (Num. 13:30-31), “Caleb … said, ‘Let us by all means go up, as we shall gain possession of the land, and we shall surely overcome.’ But the men who had gone up with him (one of whom was Nachbi) said, ‘We cannot attack that people, for they are stronger than we’.”

Two individuals — one full of hope and trust and confidence, the other frightened, albeit very realistic.

How differently their lives played out from this point forward. Nachbi perished in ignominy in the desert while Caleb remained a prince, enhanced his reputation, and was granted his reward, the city of Hebron.

We all face crossroads in our lives, some of great significance and some seemingly trivial. Our choices can be Nachbi-like, practical and safe but ultimately cowardly. Or they can be informed by hope, trust and confidence, and ultimately brave and heroic.

The choice is ours, and so are the consequences for the rest of our lives.