“The Time of Our Lives”
My friend Jerry wants to slow down July… and August, too. Summer is going by way too fast for him. I agree 100%, not just about summer, but about time in general. When I was a kid I used to thoughtlessly wish time away. I couldn’t wait for an upcoming party, to be done with the school year, to go away on a vacation. During a difficult period I just want to fast forward to a better place. In fact the idea of time travel has appealed to me since childhood, when I read one of my favorite books ,“A Wrinkle in Time.” As I get older, I’m learning that wishing away bad times isn’t a clever strategy. Instead, I want to make each day count.
We describe time in so many ways: time is of the essence, killing time, wasting time, making time, once upon a time, time to go, lunchtime, dinnertime, nap time, quiet time, quality time, down time, timely, a stitch in time saves nine, just in time, it’s about time, in the nick of time, time flies by, time and again, time waits for no man, a matter of time, wintertime, summertime. The list is as endless as time.
I remember looking at the clock during a certain boring ninth grade Chumash class. Time was crawling or even moving backwards; no matter how often I checked, the minute hand was stuck in place. Going to a doctor’s appointment is like that, too. Waiting for my turn, fearfully anticipating being checked, wishing it was over. Not much to do about that, or is there? As a mom I was able to fix that for my kids, reading or playing with them at the doctor’s office, chatting about nonsense to keep their minds off the blood test or shot (even though I was turning white and trying not to pass out). When I go for my own appointments, I try to focus on my reading; a magazine, book or some Tehilim chapters help remove my negative thoughts and fill my mind with better material.
When something is a struggle, time crawls by. When you’re enjoying a moment, it slips away so quickly into the past. I can hear the Steve Miller Band singing, “time keeps on slipping, slipping, slipping into the future.” We have all experienced how quickly a great celebration happily speeds up time while (le’havdil) a hospital visit or worse slows it down painfully. One doesn’t have to be Einstein to philosophize about the relativity of time.
In yoga training and practice we learn breathing techniques. Focusing on increasing the length of an inhale and exhale gives you the feeling that you are slowing down time. At the end of a yoga class, a five minute shavasana may feel like an eternity if you’re not in the moment, feeling antsy and looking ahead to the next thing. Or it can feel like a long deep relaxation if you are able to entirely rest your body and enjoy each breath. We are supposed to be fully in the present, savoring the moment. Understanding the elasticity of time goes a long way in helping to deal with this property that we really cannot control. We can only manipulate how we react to it, what we do with our time.
As Jews we live by the calendar and the clock. We joke that Rosh Hashanah or Pesach is early or late; somehow it’s never on time! Our weeks revolve around Shabbat and our year around the Yom Tovs. Prayers are recited at very specific times. We are now in the midst of the Three Weeks, and soon will be into the Nine Days, an extremely tragic time in Jewish history. It falls right in the midst of summer, reminding kids enjoying camp and adults on leisurely vacations about some of the darkest times in our history. We conclude this period with Shabbat Nachamu, which brings us consolation and begins the countdown to the High Holidays.
Beginning a new stage of life has made me more acutely aware of the preciousness of time. I’ve always despised the term “killing time” and cringed when people claim they’re bored. Being productive or enjoying leisure activities (relaxing is also a valid and necessary use of time!) is what we do as creatures in this world. I’m always planning ahead, inviting guests, marking the calendar. I like to know what’s coming up. At the same time, I’m trying to concentrate better, combat my “adult ADD” and be in the moment while I cook, write, read, and socialize. I remind myself to savor the good while it is happening. Bad stuff naturally causes a big impact; I want the positive, happy events in life to fill, protect and sustain me from the inevitable sad and negative.
On that note, here’s a mazal tov shout out to my yoga-girl friend Alyssa for her son’s bar mitzvah. May we enjoy many smachot and support each other during the fat times and the thin times. Let’s all make the most of the light filled days of summer and “let the good times roll!”
Miriam Bradman Abrahams is Cuban born, Brooklyn bred and lives in Woodmere. She organizes author events for Hadassah, reviews books for Jewish Book World and is very slowly writing her father’s immigration story. She is teaching yoga at a local studio. She can be contacted at mabraha1@optonline.net
