Our Father, Our King. ‘I will be what I will be’
Hashem has many names and titles. Being an Infinite Being, He likely has an infinite number of them.
We, however, are extremely finite beings. The concept of infinity is difficult for us to grasp, accept or even visualize. Because of that, forming a relationship with an Infinite Being can feel almost impossible.
Yet that is exactly what Hashem wants from us. Not merely a polite relationship, but an intimate, loving, dependent and daily connection. That, in a nutshell, is why He gave us Torah and tefillah — to teach us how to relate to Him.
Before we get there, however, we must address the elephant in the room: those who do not believe in Him at all. For some, the vastness of the idea of the infinite makes belief seem illogical or unscientific. Yet the opposite is actually true.
Consider mathematics.
Anyone who has studied geometry knows the number pi, the ratio of a circle’s circumference to its diameter. We usually say it equals 3.14, but that is only an approximation. In reality, pi has infinite decimal places — its digits continue forever without repeating. You can never know the exact value of pi, yet that does not stop us from using it.
Modern construction, space travel and advanced technology rely on this number. We estimate it, and that is sufficient for our finite world. Ask why pi is infinite and no one can answer — it simply is. And yet we confidently build our technology (even missions to the moon) upon it.
Our world cannot function without it, and no one is troubled by that fact.
That, in a sense, is G-d. He simply is. He is infinite. He created everything, including the concept of pi. Just as you cannot draw a circle without pi, you cannot truly exist in this world without Him.
Accept it. Get over it. It’s as easy as pie (I couldn’t resist).
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Once we accept His existence, another question arises. If G-d is infinitely powerful and merciful, why does He allow suffering?
Why does evil flourish? Why do children develop leukemia? Why have the Jewish people endured so much persecution throughout history?
Why did a missile fall on a synagogue shelter in Beit Shemesh, killing nine people — including three children from one religious family?
Why does a young mother die in childbirth on Purim?
Why, G-d, why?
Asking that question may be as futile as asking why pi is infinite; still, we ask.
Moshe Rabbeinu himself asked this very question. In last week’s parsha, Ki Tisa, Moshe has perhaps the most remarkable conversation with Hashem in all of the Torah. This occurs after the sin of the Golden Calf, when Moshe pleads successfully for the survival of the Jewish people. He then asks that Hashem personally lead the nation through the desert.
But Moshe goes even further. He begs Hashem, “Hodieni na et derachecha (Make Your ways known to me)” (Exodus 33:13).
Rashi, citing the Talmud (Berachot 7a), explains that Moshe was asking the deepest question of all: Why do the righteous suffer while the wicked prosper?
Moshe continues pressing. He asks that the Jewish people remain distinct from all other nations, and he even asks Hashem to reveal His glory.
Hashem responds with great tenderness. He tells Moshe to stand on a rock. When His glory passes by, Hashem will place Moshe in the cleft of the rock and shield him. Moshe will be allowed to see G-d’s “back,” but not His face.
Of course, this language is metaphorical. It teaches that while we may ask why, we are ultimately incapable of fully understanding G-d’s actions.
Many scholars offer another analogy.
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Life is like looking at a needlepoint from behind. From that perspective we see a tangled mess of threads and colors. Only when the canvas is turned over do we see the true image in its beauty and clarity.
So too with our lives.
We see the world only from behind. Still, we continue searching for answers.
King David did the same. In Psalm 86 he pleads with Hashem: “Horeni Hashem darkecha (Teach me your way).” The psalm offers no reply. Perhaps that silence itself is the answer.
In my humble opinion, Hashem is telling us: My children, you may never fully understand. Believe in Me. Trust in Me. Follow My Torah and mitzvot, and I will guide you just as I guided your ancestors in the desert.
Our sages teach that this dialogue with Moshe occurred after the sin of the Golden Calf, when we were no longer on the spiritual level we had achieved at Sinai with the first tablets.
For more than 3,000 years we have been striving to rise again. One day we will return to that elevated state — when Moshiach arrives.
Given the momentous events of our time, we pray that day is not far away.
Shabbat shalom.
Write: Columnist@TheJewishStar.com
