Writing Letters to Hostage Husbands

Hostage wives’ heart-wrenching Tu B’Av letters

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Israelis celebrated Tu B’Av on Monday, a holiday marked by couples exchanging gifts and heartfelt expressions of love, much like Valentine’s Day in other parts of the world. 

Four women, whose partners are held hostage by the Hamas terror organization, wrote poignant love letters to their loved ones to mark the day, sharing their longing and unwavering hope.

In biblical times, Tu B’Av (the 15th day of Av) held significant cultural and religious importance. It marked the start of the grape harvest, when unmarried women would don white garments and dance in the vineyards, hoping to catch the eye of a potential suitor.

Simultaneously, Tu B’Av marked the completion of the annual wood-gathering for the Temple’s main altar, a crucial communal task. While these ancient customs have faded, modern Israel has transformed Tu B’Av into a holiday of love.

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Noa Argamani and Avinatan Or were abducted from the Nova Music Festival — where 354 people were murdered — during the Hamas onslaught on southwestern Israel on Oct. 7. Argamani was rescued by the IDF after 246 days in captivity. She wrote to Or, who remains captive:

“Happy Tu B’Av, my love. Every year, you’d surprise me with a bouquet and share the story of Tu B’Av’s origins — how young women in white would dance in the vineyards of Shiloh under the full moon, hoping to find their soulmates. That’s why Tu B’Av symbolizes beauty and love.”

Argamani concluded: “Here’s to many more kisses and days filled with love — together, not apart.”

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Raz and Ohad Ben Ami were abducted from Kibbutz Be’eri on Oct. 7. Raz was released in November as part of a ceasefire deal. She wrote to her husband, who remains captive:

My dearest Ohad,

It’s been an eternity since we’ve been apart, not by choice but by cruel circumstance. If it were up to us, we wouldn’t be separated for even a moment. Yet here we are, forced apart by a horrific reality for longer than we’ve ever been in our 32 years together. …

How can life go on when you’re not here? How is it possible that my other half has been suffering for so long, and I’m powerless to bring you home? I miss your guidance in all the important decisions we now face.

The girls miss you desperately. They’re at a crucial stage in life, facing big decisions, and they need their father.

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Avital Dekel Chen wrote to her husband, Sagi, who was taken hostage from Kibbutz Nir Oz:

Sagi,

Fifteen years ago, you made me a promise in one of your letters: “We’ll hike together from Mount Sagi to Mount Avital.” It was the first time I realized there were two mountains in Israel bearing our names — Sagi in the south, Avital in the north.

The idea of embarking on such a journey together, one that would span the length of our country, filled me with excitement. Despite our many travels across Israel over the years, we never managed to make that particular trip. But your words have stayed with me all this time. Today, I understand that your promise wasn’t just idle talk.

Perhaps that sentence was waiting for this very moment, when we find ourselves separated after 20 years, and all I have to cling to is faith. Faith that we’ll still make that journey together, with our daughters by our side. …

Know that Barbur and Gali miss you so much and are waiting for you. Be strong, like our love. Today I’m the one who wants to promise you — we’ll still hike from Mount Sagi to Mount Avital.

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Lishay Miran wrote to her husband, Omri, who was abducted from Kibbutz Nahal Oz.

My beloved Omri,

The night grows late as another week ends and a new one begins. Our girls are fast asleep, and I find myself here, pen in hand, trying to organize my thoughts and search for the right words.

My darling, I visited Nahal Oz again this week — the fifth time since that fateful day. Every moment I’m there, I’m haunted by the thought that you’re just beyond the fence, so close yet unreachable. Roni’s Rosh Hashana drawings still hang on the wall, a poignant reminder that it’s nearly been a year since you were taken from us. …

This week, the girls finished their year in kindergarten. Roni insisted on wearing your shirt and necklace to the end-of-year party. As we released balloons to mark the occasion, she made a wish in front of everyone for “Dad Omri and everyone to come back.” In Alma’s kindergarten, they placed a yellow chair with your picture. Alma approached it and simply said, “Dad.” You were there with us too, just as you are in every moment of our daily lives.

My darling, I need to ask for your forgiveness. I’m sorry you’re still there. I’m sorry I haven’t managed to bring you home yet. I’m sorry that instead of holding you close and speaking to you face-to-face, I’m writing a letter, clinging to the faint hope that they might let you read it.

I’m so, so sorry. …

To the decision-makers: You have no right to leave Omri and the other 114 hostages behind! The living must be returned for rehabilitation, the fallen and murdered for proper burial. We cannot move forward, we cannot heal, we cannot live in security as long as you remain there in Gaza!