Delta is ready when you are...Sunni Muslim

This week Delta Airlines received much criticism as Saudi Arabia Airlines joined the alliance of airlines, which Delta is a part of. As Saudi Arabia does not recognize Israel, as Saudi Arabia is known for grave human rights violations, and as Saudi Arabia requests information from its passengers regarding their religion in order to maintain some of their apartheid cities, Delta’s new bed partner is causing them some insomnia.

“Ahalan wasalan and asalam alekem to all our passengers today, this is your faithful pilot, Mahmood Mahmood. We are so glad to have you on board as we fly to the holy city of Mecca. We appreciate that many of you booked your flight through Delta Airlines. We know that Delta’s Chairman Daniel Carp and CEO Richard Anderson used some of your hard earned money to hire a PR company to send out press releases explaining that Delta Air Lines does not discriminate nor condone discrimination in regards to age, race, nationality, religion or gender. Some airlines charge bag fees and pillow fees. We here at the Delta Saudi alliance group of airlines don’t even request surcharges from our passengers to compensate high-powered public relations firms. These companies assist us in projecting the image of non-bias as we fly to a city where most of you will need to jump out of the plane prior to our arrival as you are not permitted to step foot in Mecca because of your religion or gender. Please find a parachute under your seat at this time, which you will need to use about an hour before landing.