Dear That's Life 4/23/10

Community message boards are funny. They may not actually intend to be funny, and I’d have to imagine they were not created simply for my enjoyment, but they are often a riot.

On some boards, the poster is required to list his or her name along with the message while on others only an email address is necessary. I would venture to guess that the benefit of requiring a name to be associated with a posting is that one must therefore take ownership of whatever is being offered, asked for, requested, etc. If you post something potentially humorous or otherwise embarrassing, everyone will know it is you. Without a name, however, and with only an email address, people can post whatever they want, more or less anonymously. And while some may feel that this shield allows for a greater variety of posting and participation, sometimes, a little editing is a good thing.

On many occasions I have heard from people about how helpful they find this or that message board. Whether it is to get a ride somewhere, obtain a babysitter, share one’s resume or acquire a bedroom set the owner no longer wants, these community tools surely have their advantages. We have used message boards in the past with some success and have also been able to help out others seeking information or a service of some kind. Yet with some postings, I am too busy laughing to be helpful.

A number of years ago, someone posted that she needed help passing her road test and was wondering if someone would volunteer to give her some additional driving lessons. Okay, I thought. That’s interesting. That was my reaction until I read on. It seems she had already failed her road test numerous times and this was to be her seventh (no joke) attempt at getting her license. Could someone help her so she could pass this time? The benefit of the doubt would be to say she needed to get her license so she could get to school or drive her grandmother to doctor’s appointments. But all I could think was: No! She should not be on the road. The seventh time was not a charm and maybe someone, i.e. the DMV, was trying to send her a message. We have enough crazy drivers on the road and we don’t need anymore. Use mass transit.

There was a summertime posting by a person who had had guests and had way too much egg salad left over. Did anyone want some? It was being left outside on the back porch - feel free to pick it up. Yikes, I thought. Egg salad that had been sitting out and had not been refrigerated for hours. Yummy.

Then there was the shidduch posting in which the poster listed what was being looked for in a guy. The details included the age bracket, his need to wear a hat, that he should be attractive and that ‘employment was not necessary.’ To sum it up: We’re looking for a good looking guy who doesn’t want to work. In fact, marry this girl and we’ll pick up your bills. Love - optional.

Sometimes people post things that they’ve found. A pacifier in a supermarket parking lot, a set of keys, or a tallis left behind after minyan. Sometimes the postings are worth reading and sometimes you’re just happy no one wasted a tree to actually print these requests on paper. I’m waiting to see the following: Used tissue found on West Broadway on Shabbos afternoon. Please email back if it’s yours.

It’s only a matter of time.

MLW