Allergy plea follows death of Flatbush physician…

This article was written following the tragedy that befell Dr. Jeffrey Ben-Zvi, a prominent Flatbush gastroenterologist and devoted ba’al chessed, who suddenly passed away after a severe allergic reaction at a Brooklyn restaurant.

I am a mother, passionate about anything having to do with my daughter, what I put in her mouth, on her body, and basically the environment I surround her in.

I am no doctor, allergist or expert, I am “just” a mom … of a child with severe food allergies. We found out the hard way. Before she was one year old, on two separate occasions, she broke out in hives, after which I had her skin and blood tested. The fact that I am not a complete nervous lunatic on this subject is because I have 18 years of “experience” growing up with a sibling with more food allergies than my daughter has. Since my mother did practically all the research, my life is much calmer.

Having a great set of pediatric doctors helps, too.

Back in the ‘90s, food allergies were essentially a “huh” topic and peanut butter & jelly sandwiches were in many brown bags with no second thoughts; there were barely any warning labels on kids’ snacks. While the number of children with food allergies back then may not have been much less than it is now, the awareness has heightened.

Preschools and elementary schools have banned every trace of peanuts and nuts — the strongest of the food allergies — because of the likelihood of airborne reactions. In some cases I feel as though my daughter’s school is stricter than I am, and thank G-d for that. I wish I knew why the rate of children with food allergies is so high, and strong, and what I could have done to prevent it (read: nothing!), knowing my daughter will most likely never have peanut butter or nuts in her life — one of my all time favorite food groups.

As kids, my brother always carried his EpiPen — or at least he was supposed to, although he barely carried it around. With anaphylaxis (airway constriction) there is no time to waste. However, despite his “negligence,” he never had more than two serious incidents in his life thus far.

With my daughter, we ended up in the Emergency Room after a tremendous contact reaction to walnuts, not even ingestion. The scary thing is, the presentation of an allergic reaction to the same morsel of food can be different with each subsequent occurrence. The child can present hives one time, and then the next time experience throat constriction. I have become “that mom” who needs to make sure nothing has nuts — at birthday parties, restaurants, friends’ houses, and when we are invited out for Shabbos meals.

I would not expect the average person to know how to use an EpiPen, but I wish it were more commonplace to be knowledgeable and respectful. Chances are extremely high that there is a kid with allergies —tomatoes, dairy, or a life-threatening peanut allergy — in your child’s class. I have seen the reactions, been in the hospital, and experienced what no parent should, but I have gotten many comments that I am “overreacting,” or that we are the inconvenient cause of why your son can’t eat Bamba while playing with my daughter.

With my brother being allergic to not only nuts, but seeds and severe dairy as well, my mother would encounter many naysayers and those who would turn a shoulder when asked to make a necessary accommodation for him. It was always an inconvenience to the pizza store to use a clean knife to cut him a cheeseless slice, or asking a restaurant waiter to investigate whether there is an allergen in a particular menu item, or his school having to go out of their way to buy pareve ice cream for the class ice cream party siyum.

This is not to say that there haven’t been greatly helpful individuals who try and go out of their way to help and accommodate.

A few months ago my family went out for dinner, and the first thing my brother does is cover all his bases as far as what he can or cannot order. He is 19 now, and this is his normal. We proceeded to order an item after asking the waiter many times if it contains nuts or sesame. We were quickly told no, so we ordered it. When it came, right before we were about to dig in, for some reason my mother had the foresight to ask the manager who had been near the table, if there was in fact sesame in the item, despite the fact that the waiter had immediately told us “no” with certainty.

Sesame seems like such a silly allergy, who would expect a massive allergic reaction can come from the tiniest seed? The manager profusely apologized and informed us that it was fried in sesame oil. Why did my mother think to ask for a fifth time, and why was the waiter so sure of the fact that it did not contain any sesame? Was he too lazy to take the time to go ask the chef?

On a different occasion, my brother ordered a slice of cheeseless pizza after making it clear he had an allergy to dairy, and when he received the slice, he noticed white dots in the sauce and asked the pizza man if he was sure it wasn’t dairy. The pizza man matter of factly shrugged it off and said the sauce is made with Parmesan cheese.

If only they knew that a child could literally stop breathing on their floor because of something as simple as an almond, a seed, a piece of cheese, I think they would think twice. The list goes on, as allergies range from fruits and vegetables to wheat to the most obvious peanut — blood tests can measure for more than 50 food items.

So what sparked my sudden interest to try and reach out to the community, as I have been living with this frustration for many years?

I was extremely emotionally stricken with the news a month ago about Dr. Jeffrey Ben-Zvi, from Flatbush, a prominent gastroenterologist who held credibility at many New York City hospitals, a member of Flatbush Hatzalah, and a devoted ba’al chessed, who suddenly passed away after a severe allergic reaction at a Brooklyn restaurant.

Did I know this man? No. My educated assumption was that he was aware of this allergy, and made it clear to the waiter, who was unaware of the misinformation he was relaying to Dr. Ben Zvi about the food he was ordering. It is nothing short of tragic, a simple meal out, which is a luxury we all partake in and take advantage of. And it could have been avoided, had the staff been knowledgeable about every single item on the menu.

My daughter is three years old, and my husband and I are her advocates, her voices at the pizza store or restaurant, or a friend’s house, figuring out what she can and cannot eat. When she is old enough to go to any of these places by herself, I need to know that she is in responsible, educated hands.

It would be extreme to suggest that every adult learn how to administer an EpiPen, which is literally a life-saving tool — but I am suggesting that restaurant owners, workers, waiters/waitresses be more in tune to what they are serving a patron. How will I know that when I order a salad without the slivered almonds, and it mistakenly comes with them, that the restaurant worker in the back will not just remove the almonds from said salad instead of making me an entirely new one? How can I stress that the price of my daughter’s life is greater than the price of a second salad with no trace of nut in it, because of the waiter’s mistake, if I don’t go into the back and watch myself?

I wish menus at every local restaurant would contain allergy warnings, if they are not obvious (like the item that was fried in sesame oil, or if a breading contains crushed nuts), just like packaged goods are required by law now to have allergen statements if the product is even processed in the same facility as say, nuts, eggs, dairy, or wheat, etc. even if the item at hand never even came into contact with any of these ingredients.

Paying more attention to customers by not brushing off their requests as silly or inconvenient, as if they are asking for something unreasonable, we can make all dining experiences positive ones, and not nervous, on-edge ones. I am positive that it is no waiter’s intention to mislead or misguide a customer, rather the nature of a restaurant during a busy service is to be distracted, and I understand that.

With a little focus and guidance, we can remove any discrepancies, and avoid terrible tragedies like the unfortunate passing of a great man, Dr. Jeffrey Ben-Zvi.

Elisheva Nelson Taitz lives in Lawrence.

am suggesting that restaurant owners, workers, waiters/waitresses be more in tune to what they are serving a patron. How will I know that when I order a salad without the slivered almonds, and it mistakenly comes with them, that the restaurant worker in the back will not just remove the almonds from said salad instead of making me an entirely new one? How can I stress that the price of my daughter’s life is greater than the price of a second salad with no trace of nut in it, because of the waiter’s mistake, if I don’t go into the back and watch myself?

I wish menus at every local restaurant would contain allergy warnings, if they are not obvious (like the item that was fried in sesame oil, or if a breading contains crushed nuts), just like packaged goods are required by law now to have allergen statements if the product is even processed in the same facility as say, nuts, eggs, dairy, or wheat, etc. even if the item at hand never even came into contact with any of these ingredients.

Paying more attention to customers by not brushing off their requests as silly or inconvenient, as if they are asking for something unreasonable, we can make all dining experiences positive ones, and not nervous, on-edge ones. I am positive that it is no waiter’s intention to mislead or misguide a customer, rather the nature of a restaurant during a busy service is to be distracted, and I understand that.

With a little focus and guidance, we can remove any discrepancies, and avoid terrible tragedies like the unfortunate passing of a great man, Dr. Jeffrey Ben-Zvi.

Elisheva Nelson Taitz lives in Lawrence.