Who’s in the kitchen Sweathogs of the world unite, you’ve earned your “just desserts”

That dreaded word “exercise.” Most people decide to hit the gym, run outdoors, or swim, once May rolls around, to get into shape for the summer. Though I’m a member of a local gym, have a top notch treadmill I inherited (thanks, Robbie Rothenberg), and a swimming pool in my backyard, I’m embarrassed to say I haven’t been to the gym, or on the treadmill since May and I’ve only done laps about three times this summer. I’ve always taught my kids never to say they hated anything, but I have to admit, I hate exercising. For the life of me, I can’t understand what it is that people love about it. Yes, I know, after a workout we all feel good about the fact that we got our heart rates up, burnt calories and released those endorphins. But really, do you love the actual act of exercising itself? While you’re having that cup of coffee in the morning (along with a muffin, maybe), are you actually looking forward to subjecting yourself to exhaustion, overheating and pains from body parts you never realized you owned, all competing for triage at the same time? Yes, I admit I’m jealous of those of you who love it. About 15 years ago I decided to join a gym. I paid the yearly dues up front and had three days to cancel. Just took me one. On my first day I signed up for an aerobics class. How would I know that everyone in the class knew ever step, twist and turn by heart. I cleverly stayed in the back of the room so as not to draw any attention to the fact that I had no idea what I was doing. Within five minutes the instructor had everyone turn facing the back (a move I must have missed) and there I was, now facing them. In a move “a la” Lucy Ricardo, I danced to and out the door and canceled my membership. There had to be a better way. There was: her name was Carol Oppenheimer and she whipped me into shape. I was one of Carol’s first private clients in her home. I had just started a repetition and was on #3 when Carol had to leave the room for a minute. As she walked away from hearing distance, I smiled to myself and counted 3, 4, 11, 12…to which she shouted “what happened to 5-10?” There was no slacking off with Carol.

No one I know enjoys exercising as much as my husband Jerry. He spends hours stretching, lifting weights, resistance training, and recumbent biking, while simultaneously highlighting philosophical and historical works. My daughter’s friend saw a photo of Jerry on her Facebook page. He said that he knew Jerry, but couldn’t place exactly from where. Jordana said there was no way he would know Jerry since he just moved from N.J. Hours later he asked her if Jerry belonged to NYSC and highlighted Aristotle and Plato while furiously peddling on the bike. She sheepishly replied sadly, “that would be him.”

He also has no concept of time while at the gym, and is usually the last one out at 11 pm. One time, he almost actually didn’t get out. He told me he would meet me outside at 11. I got there at 11:05 and he was nowhere in sight, and the gym was dark. I spotted the manager about to get into his car and I said, “My husband must still be inside.” The manager said, “No, that’s impossible. I called down three times to see if anyone was still in the locker room and no one answered.” Suddenly I had visions of Jerry stuck in the gym overnight, only to Jerry that would have been like a kid in a candy store. He would have joyfully found the light switches and with Plato’s Republic and a highlighter in hand, found his way to the closest recumbent bike. Unfortunately, for Jerry, the manager opened the gym, and released Jerry into my custody.

What, you may ask, does all the talk of exercise have to do with this week’s recipe? Actually nothing at alI. I just needed to vent.

Enjoy the recipe, and if you see me in the gym …don’t ask how I am…I’ll be miserable.

INDIVIDUAL COOKIE CRUMB TOPPED

APPLE PIES IN RAMEKINS

n 10 Granny Smith apples, peeled, cored and cut into small pieces

n 1 cup sugar plus ¾ cup set aside

n 1 egg

n 1 stick margarine

n 2 cups white flour plus ¾ cup set aside

n 1 tsp vanilla extract

n Pam

n 12 6 oz. ramekins, greased

n Half sheet pan

n Any type of cigar wafers (24)

n 8 oz non-dairy Rich whip topping

Prepare the apples and set aside. Next, cream the margarine and sugar, then add the egg and vanilla and beat till mixture is light and fluffy. Add the flour and mix well. If the mixture sticks to your hand when you pick it up add a bit more flour. Section off enough dough to press onto the bottom of the ramekins and up half of the sides (not to thickly) Place the ramekins in a 350 F oven till light brown and remove (about 5 minutes). While ramekins are in the oven, add ½ C sugar and ½ C flour to the remaining dough mixture and mix till it becomes crumbly. If it’s not crumbly enough, add a bit more sugar and flour. Add the apples to the ramekins all the way up to the rim. Next, add the crumbs to the top, and be generous, then press then down so they stay in place. Place the ramekins on a half sheet pan and bake till the crumbs are golden brown and the apple mixture oozes out of the top. Once they are cooled, top with pareve whipped cream and cigar wafers. For those of you who didn’t hit the gym, you can leave out the dough on the bottom and just fill with apples and top with crumbs sans the whipped cream and wafers.

Judy Joszef can be reached at judy.soiree@gmail.com