Seidemann: A man of many hats

Opinion: From the other side of the bench

By David Seidemann

Issue of Feb. 20, 2009 / 27 Shevat 5768

A few years ago I attended a wedding in Williamsburg. As I always do, when I attend a wedding at that particular hall, I leave my keys and car in the care of and under the watchful eyes of the valet parking group.

As I stand during the chuppah ceremony, I pray for the bride.  I pray for the groom. I pray for the safe return of my car. On that

particular evening, approximately two hours after I arrived, I

received a cell phone call. The reception in the hall was awful so I

decided to go upstairs and outside to continue my call.

As I stood on Ross Street in the summer breeze, I watched with shock

as I saw someone else begin to drive away in my silver Acura.

Apparently, he had communicated with the valet that his car was a

silver Acura and the valet brought him the first one he came upon,

which happened to be mine.

The "unintended thief" began to motor my Accura down Ross Street to

Bedford Avenue as I began to chase on foot. I started to pound on the

rear of the car which only prompted the driver to drive even faster. I

caught up with him at a red light at Bedford Avenue and Ross Street

and explained to him that he was in my car. He insisted it was his. I

told him that if he would merely turn his attention to the back seat,

he would find the undeniable proof that the car was mine.

Strewn upon the back seat and floor was evidence of my morning

ritual, breakfast at Dunkin' Donuts, empty bag after empty bag. (Sorry

Mom, sometimes not cleaning up after yourself pays off.) He gave me my

car back and returned to the valet to secure his own.

As I pulled into my driveway about an hour and a half later, I

noticed a black hat on the front passenger seat, obviously belonging

to the man who mistakenly began to drive away with my car. I had no

idea who he was but obviously needed to contact him.

The next morning I took advantage of my friendship with Nachum Segal,

host of the JM in the AM radio program (91.1 fm/www.jmintheam.org) and

had him announce the "hat in the car" episode. Later that afternoon, a

lady who lives around the corner from my office came to retrieve her

husband's hat. Car and rightful owner and hat and head were reunited.

Though you think it looks familiar, you don't always know what you

are getting into. Though someone tells you, "here, it's yours, it's

good for you", unless you look not only at the outside, not only at

the front seat, but also at the back seat, you might wind up driving

away with the wrong car or coming home with the wrong hat.

On the American political scene, there was no question that the

economy needed a new car and a new hat. Despite Obama's promise that

the American public would have time to look at the front and back seat

of the stimulus plan before it was voted on, no such opportunity was

given. Congress has allowed the President to drive away in our

financial future with a hat that is so big, it's falling down over his

eyes. No one knows what's under the hood or in the trunk. And when

President Obama turns his attention away from the economy and begins

to focus on foreign affairs, no one knows which hat Mr. Obama will be

wearing. Will it be the hat that we are used to, one that fits both

the United States and Israel, or will he opt for a different style?

The Israeli political landscape presents just as much of a question.

It appears as of this writing that once again we will be climbing back

into Bibi's car. And while he seems to be the best chauffeur presently

available for hire, he doesn't always drive us to where he says he is

going to drive us. He promises to drive us to a united Jerusalem, to a

destination of "no land for peace" deals but then we remember how he

drove the car during Wye, Oslo; vis-à-vis Hebron, and his position on

Gush Katif.

He sets his GPS properly but somehow becomes car jacked along the

way. Such behavior seems inevitable in a political party system such

as Israel's where coalitions have to be built with policy makers that

often espouse polar opposite views.

Will it be Likud, Shas, United Torah Judaism and Israel Beitenu

forming a coalition, or will Likud and Kadima band together to form a

unity Government? For Shas and United Torah Judaism's part, sitting

with Israel Beitenu might be philosophically impossible.

On the other hand, if Likud, Labor and Kadima forge a coalition, we

might simply be climbing aboard the same go cart ride, albeit with a

different driver at the wheel. Whichever car emerges on the Israeli

roadway, and whomever might be driving it, he or she better become

accustomed to challenging evil and terror without the usual backing of

the United States. We simply don't know yet which foreign policy hat

Mr. Obama plans to pull out of the closet.

ds at lawofficesm.com.