Remembering Aaron Tepfer, o’h

“He was a real boy in the sense that he loved sports. He was a child who cared tremendously about others — his bein adam l’chavero (interactions between people) was incredible.”

Rabbi Yaakov Feitman, rav of Kehillas Bais Yehudah Tzvi in Cedarhurst, where Aaron Tepfer, o”h, davened with his family, spoke to The Jewish Star about the ten year old boy who passed away on Saturday after a boating accident on Friday.

At the levaya (funeral) on Sunday at Aaron’s yeshiva, Darchei Torah in Far Rockaway, Feitman said that Aaron’s father Tuli recalled when Aaron was asked to be the pitcher at a baseball game because he was the best in the group, but gave up his pitching position to another boy. The other boy was not at Aaron’s ability level but he really wanted to pitch and that was more important to Aaron — to make his friend happy.

The youngest of six brothers with a younger sister, Aaron was very “beloved. Everyone wanted their child to be his friend because he would be a good influence on them,” Feitnan said.

Feitman noted that the parents are “tremendously popular people” and that Aaron “had the Tepfer smile, his parents’ smile.” The family is very musical — Aaron liked to sing and played an instrument — and has a family band that plays at simchas. Aaron started learning gemara last year in fifth grade and went to Camp Agudah this summer. When he returned, “his soul was on fire” Feitman quoted Aaron’s mother Rachel, a fifth grade secular studies teacher at Darchei Torah.

“He didn’t miss a davening in shul,” said Feitman. “He learned for hours every day and tried to do a lot of mitzvos.”

Rabbi Eliezer Feuer, rav of the Young Israel of Bayswater and in charge of the learning program at the camp, told Feitman that Aaron was learning in camp like somebody much older than a ten year old boy.

“He had grown in these last few days since coming home from camp. His davening was extraordinary,” Feitman said.

Feitman pointed out that this behavior “doesn’t come from nowhere. He would always see his father, Tuli, learning early in the morning and late at night. Everybody loves the Tepfers and respects them.” Tuli Tepfer teaches a “very popular” daf yomi shiur at Kehillas Bais Yehudah Tzvi (the Red Shul) on West Broadway.

After the petirah (death) at the hospital, “the staff was in tears,” he said.

Feitman had just come from the shiva house when he spoke with the Star. “They all say the same thing — that they came to give chizuk (strength) and Tuli and Rachel are giving us chizuk.”

Rabbi Yaakov Bender, rosh yeshiva at Darchei Torah, said in a statement that “Aaron Tepfer o”h grew up in a home surrounded by parents and siblings who are forever worrying about others.

“Aaron did not grow up in a vacuum. Such sterling middos cannot develop except where a child is surrounded by them,” Bender said.

“Can we all make an attempt to leave the pettiness behind and take this terrible tragedy and do something positive with it? That would be the most wonderful thing we can do for Aaron’s family and for Aaron’s neshama.”

Bender wrote of the importance of being sensitive when visiting a mourner, and not to ask questions that will cause pain, to sit in silence if necessary. He also called on parents to make an effort to help children and to be inclusive. Bender’s statement continued:

“After a tragedy of this magnitude we must feel the pain of those in pain, but keep our emunah strong and to not let ourselves get depressed.

“It is important and essential to walk away from a levaya or a shiva and internalize the message, how can I further elevate the neshama of the niftar?

“One way is to accept upon oneself new ideas to improve, to perhaps find a special middah (virtue) of the niftar to emulate.

“I think in our case, though I knew Aaron well, I came away from the levaya astounded by Aaron’s caring for others.

“This was his general derech (path) in life: always worrying about the underprivileged.”

Bender concluded:

“May the neshama of Aaron Sholom ben Naftoli Hertz Yisroel, be a blessing for all of Klal Yisroel. And may we be reunited with him with the coming of Moshiach very soon.”

Helene and Alan Jay Gerber donated a set of the Koren-Steinsaltz English Talmud and a set of the classic Hebrew commentary of the Talmud, Mesiftah in memory of Aaron Shalom Tepfer, o”h as a resource for the early morning Daf Yomi shiurim conducted by R’ Tuli Tepfer daily at 5:45 am, and by Rabbi Yaakov Feitman, at 7:15 am daily, 8 am on Shabbat and 7:45 am on Sundays.