Pleasing all the people all the time

The fourteenth century poet, John Lyndgate, famously wrote an axiom about one’s inability to please all people all the time. Though this quote is often attributed to President Abraham Lincoln, its roots are much older; older even than Lyndgate in the 1300s. As it turns out, Megillat Esther sends the same message, and this idea frustrates people, like me, who try to make everyone happy.

The very last pasuk of the Meglliah explains how Mordechai, now a close advisor to King Achashverosh, becomes “…gadol la’yihudim, v’ratzoi  l’rov echav…” “And grand among the Jews, and pleasing to most of his brethren.” Reflecting on the story of Esther, and the great, pivotal role Mordechai plays in ensuring the continuing existence of the Jewish people—both of Shushan (Persia) and of the world—it is galling to think that some members of Am Yisrael still weren’t 100% pleased with him.

The sages provide many Midrashim about this phrase, and they shed some light on the ancient Persian history of Mordechai and his leadership roles in the municipality of Shushan; however, none of this historical retracing makes the pasuk any easier to swallow. Essentially, one could expend tremendous efforts on behalf of his entire community and his entire race, saving young and old alike, and some people will still complain!  

I reflect on this notion each time someone criticizes a Chumash class I lead and each time someone heckles me during a d’var Torah at the Hashkama (early morning) minyan. While I don’t see anyone else waking up with the sunrise and preparing for weeks to deliver words of Torah, no matter the content, someone always has a critique. I imagine, in my own humble way, that this was Mordechai’s reaction. An aghast “are you serious?!” to those who have wicked words to share despite our best intentions.

But, despite the criticism of some small percentage of the people—and the Megillah uses the word “rov,” majority, to indicate that the population of naysayers was truly small—it is vital to remember that we do mitzvoth, we speak Torah, we raise our children with derech eretz not to please others, but to bring fulfillment to ourselves. At the end of the day, we are only responsible for our actions, not others’ reactions to those practices. I, like Mordechai, and like all the others within our community who try to be thought-leaders and action-leaders, can take solace in knowing that “rov echav,” the majority of our peers do find pleasure in our actions. Maybe please some of the people all of the time is reward enough.