If only I could pray

Reproduced with the permission of the authors Rabbi Eugene and Dr. Annette Labovitz from their first book “Time For My Soul: A Treasury of Jewish Stories for Our Holy Days.”

Imagine the shul in Sanz on Rosh Hashanah! Worshipers, wrapped in oversized talitot, standing shoulder to shoulder, led in prayer by Rebbe Chayim Halberstam, the Sanzer rebbe. No sound audible, except for the chanting of prayers ascending to the Throne of Glory.

Afterwards, a few of the rebbe’s disciples ask him to teach them the secret of prayer. “Why do you think I am the expert on prayer?” he responds. “Let me tell you a short story about Maxele from St. Petersburg, who was an expert on prayer.”

You know that St. Petersburg was off limits to Jews, unless they had business considered necessary for the economic welfare of the Russian government. Very few Jews qualified. Maxele’s father was one of the exceptions. The life that he lived in St. Petersburg was totally compatible with the non-Jewish world, for he assimilated rapidly into Russian society.

Many years passed, and Maxele’s father aged. When he realized that his time was approaching to leave this world, he called his son and said to him: “Maxele, it is almost time for me to leave this world. Before I die, I want you to swear to me that you will always remember that you are a Jew.”

Maxele turned to his father and said: “I will swear to you that I will always remember that I am a Jew...but please, tell me, what is a Jew supposed to do?”

Maxele’s father answered: “If I could relive my life, I would give anything to find out what a Jew is, what a Jew is supposed to do. The truth is, I don’t know. When I was twelve years old, I was kidnapped to serve in the Tzar’s army. I spent twenty-five years in the army and was never permitted a furlough to see my family. By the time I was released, I had forgotten my Jewish heritage almost entirely. Since I had excelled in the army, I was permitted to settle in St. Petersburg. I only know that I was born a Jew, and I remember that on Rosh Hashanah a Jew goes to shul.