David's Harp: I am not going to write about...

I am not going to write about the wars, the troops, the president, Congress, Iraq, Iran, al-Qaeda, global warming, gas prices, hybrid cars and carbon footprints.

I’m not going to write about hackers, WikiLeaks, iTunes, iams, ipods, iphones, apps, apple, limes or troubled times, or the the New York Times or CNN, TNN, ESPN, Fox News, Hannity, O’Reily, Rush, talk radio, shock jocks, K-Rock, K-Mart, Wal-Mart, Martin Short, Martin Luther King, Stephen King, Larry King, BB King, Bibi Netanyahu, Natan Sharansky, ski conditions, medical conditions, terms and conditions, term life insurance, whole life, Met life, or the after life.

I’m not going to write about homeland security, financial security, security systems, data systems, databases, baseball, Bud Selig, Bud Lite, Coors Lite, “let there be light,” Genesis, Phil Collins, Dr. Phil, depression, losses, profits, cash, Johnny Cash, “Walk the Line,” online, on air, Air America, Miss America, missed opportunities, employment opportunities, working hard, hardly working, Dream Works, Steven Spielberg, icebergs, natural disasters, natural foods, famine, fortune, favorites, fame, fighting, flag waving, making waves, breaking the waves, breaking up, falling down, failing, wailing, weeping and worrying about homeland security, which I’m not going to write about.

I’m not going to write about GPS, UPS, Fedex, DHL, HDL, LDL, El Nino, Elle McPherson, Samuel L. Jackson, Snakes on a Plane, Cobra Helicopters, Black Hawk Down, Somalia, United Nations, United Way, United Synagogue, Gog and Magog, Superman, Wonder Woman, wonderland, Neverland, Michael Jackson, Jesse Jackson, Al Sharpton, Sharpe James and Newark, New Jersey.

I’m not going to write about real estate, Trump, The Apprentice, The Bachelor, The Idol, The Survivor, So You Think You Can Dance, sing and are the most talented and the best inventor.

I’m not going to even write about Israel, Hamas, Abas, Gaza, gas, oil, the royals, Diana, William the royal heir, Harry the royal spare, the Queen, the Prince, or the Artist Formerly Known as Prince.

I’m not going to write about the Yankees, the Mets, golf, Tiger, tennis, Dennis the Menace, Shrek, Harry Potter, pot, drugs, overdose, oxicontin, oxymorons, morons, comedians, Robin Williams, the Wayan brothers, the Marx brothers, Groucho, Harpo, Oprah, O magazine, OJ, the Simpsons and Family Guy.

I’m not going to write about the weather, the floods, the fires, Katrina, FEMA, finance, fiscal management, Fortune 500, refinancing, keeping up with the Jones, Dow Jones, interest rates, real estate markets, mortgages, mansions and money.

I’m not going to write about Gmail, e-mails, e-bay, easy money, Monday blues, Saturday Night Live, Saturday Night Fever, Saturday night dating, Jdate, speed dates, California pitted dates and tainted spinach.

I’m not going to write about Kadaffi, Sadam, Osama, Obama, Bill and Hill, elections, the White House, Red Cross, Purple Hearts, Bluetooth, Green Day, gold bullion, Pink Floyd, Black History Month, Orange County, yellow ribbons, and what can brown do for you?

I’m not going to write about steroids, Ritalin, drug legalization, criminalization, prescriptions, health care, illness, Sicko, Michael More, More magazine, People magazine, Vogue, Elle, Dell, Shell, kvell, hell or heaven.

I’m not going to write about cancer, autism, West Nile, lime disease, ADD, OCD, cds, dvd, HDTV, MTV, TB, Hep B, B list, mailing lists, junk mail, you’ve got mail, YouTube, you go girl, You Me and Dupree, the RU48 morning after pill, happy pills, ecstasy and same sex marriage.

I’m not going to write about cystic fibrosis, multiple sclerosis, muscular dystrophy, Jerry Lewis, Jerry Garcia, Grateful Dead, dead wrestlers, WWF, the F word, the N word, the L word, Microsoft Word, word games and sudoku.

I’m not going to write about reward, punishment, evil, villains, heroes, the strong, the weak, the weekday, the Sabbath, rest, restaurants, recipes, ratatouille and Rachel Ray.

I’m not going to write about Paula Abdul, Bono, Three Tenors, the Sopranos and HBO.

I’m not going to write about Abercrombie, Victoria Secret, Hollister, the Gap and the gap between the platform and the Long Island Rail Road trains.

I’m not going to write about HPV cervical testing, science, Scientology, Tom Cruise, Katie Holmes, Homes and Gardens, Kindergarten, Baby Boomers, Boeing, Bo Diddley, Beau Brummel, style, trends, fads, art, body art, tattoos, piercings, Pierce Brosnan, James Bond, bond markets, Mark Burnett, reality television, virtual reality, virtual cell, stem cell, bioethics, controversy, arguments, panic, calm down and dot com.

I’m not going to write about the Pope, inappropriate priests, cults, crimes, cases, Casey, Caylee, polygamy, bigamy, Big Love, abortion and evolution.

I’m not going to write about Joshua, Jeremiah, Judah, Jonathan, Jedidiah, Jonah, Jacob, Joseph, Jews for Jesus, jealousy, junk mail, jaywalking, Jay Leno, Letterman, letters of recommendation, Letters to Iwo Jima, Clint Eastwood, Clint Black, country music, hip hop, rap, rapture, Armageddon, the movie by the same name with Bruce Willis, Ed Harris, Howie Mandel and other handsome men with shaven heads.

I’m not going to write about surgical enhancements, body reductions, lipo suctions, tummy tucks, Botox, kick box, Pilates, Yoga, 5 minute abs, Feng Shui, herbs, organic apples, soy milk, lactose free, non-gluten, lite, low fat, no fat, no carb, obesity, anorexia, peanut allergies, cashews, calcium, cholesterol and caffeine.

I’m not going to write about gays, bis, bias, bigotry, prejudice, tolerance, hatred, diversity, dying, Holocaust, Darfur, Bosnia, Kosovo, 9-11 and Virginia Tech.

I’m not going to write about the Christian right, the liberal left, Central America, North Korea and South Park. I’m not going to write about the synagogue, the staff, the sisterhood, the sim shalom, the psalms, the songs, the school, the services, the Saturdays, the singing and the sinning.

I’m not going to write about the Five Towns, the four seasons, the three-day weekend, or the two parties… I’m just going to write: One G-d.