City Mouse, Suburb House

When we got married I moved from Brooklyn to Queens to live close to the hospital where my husband interned. After our first child was born we moved back to Brooklyn to be closer to my family. David didn’t want to, claiming there weren’t any trees, to which I retorted that there are enough to have a book named for them “A Tree Grows in Brooklyn.” He relented for shalom bayit and because his commute to Manhattan would be more or less the same. We spent three years there until we moved to the Five Towns, where there are a million trees.

Of course, there are trees in Brooklyn and we spent free time at Marine Park, Prospect Park and at the beautiful Botanic Gardens, with photos of our babies under the famed cherry blossoms to prove it. But Brooklyn is most definitely urban, with the noises, crowds and no parking of the city.

On the other hand Lawrence and Woodmere are somewhat suburban. Although we started out in an apartment our first six years here, we were surrounded by trees. We lived in a garden apartment complex with plentiful foliage and a playground right across the street by the wonderful Peninsula library. I pushed the stroller just a few blocks away to back Lawrence and felt as if I was in real suburbia. Grant Park and North Woodmere Park offered shade, water, ducks, squirrels, easy parking and plenty of space for the kids to play as freely as I would allow them.

I could never have imagined living in any suburb, neither here nor in New Jersey where my aunt and cousins live. Always a Brooklyn girl, I yearned to lose the bridge-and -tunnel stigma by moving to the city, the real metropolis just across the water. I loved working downtown, beginning with my job as a sales and stock girl at “Herb’s,” a small shop in the Village. I became a real adult when I moved on to a post college career at the World Trade Center and later on Lafayette Street. I loved the vibe of downtown’s City Hall neighborhood and would walk around during my lunch hours and hang out after work.

Although my husband didn’t care much for Brooklyn, he enjoys the city. His favorite place is Central Park which is filled with nature (including trees!) rather than roaming the crowded streets, which is my preference. We passed on an opportunity to live in NYU hospital housing near the East River because our family was growing and it was expensive to crowd into even the tiniest apartment. I sometimes still regret that decision since it would have been an amazing experience. Instead, we rented in two of the boroughs and though the commute was longer, we lived in roomier, cheaper places.

Until recently I still hoped to one day trade our house for a small spot in Manhattan, but lately I’m not sure. We’d have to downsize drastically, miss our friends and have no room for our guests and our stuff. City or suburb, each have ups and downs. Location, space, price, noise level, air quality are factors to weigh. Realtors sell “location, location, location” but I’ve become too comfortable with the peace and quiet of our neighborhood.

Now and then I need to get my adrenalin and culture fix by riding the train into another world. I gaze up at the vertical architecture, take in a museum exhibit or zoom through the crowds. I revel in the diversity of people and languages and the throbbing pulse of the city. I explore a variety of neighborhoods and eateries and browse bookstores and boutiques. I people watch at the High Line, Madison Park, Union and Washington Squares and the subway. I also guiltily avert my eyes from subway panhandlers and recoil from the wacko who spat at my feet in midtown. I avoid walking under precariously overhanging cranes and dodge fast and fearless messenger bikers. I’m amused by dog walkers holding a dozen leashes and perplexed by nursery school kids maneuvering traffic attached by rope around their waists to their teacher. I trek all day and into the evening hours until I’m depleted and head back to the station for the ride home.

Arriving at Woodmere my blood pressure drops. I breathe in the cleaner air more deeply. I smell the ocean three miles away and my body begins to heal from the hectic day. I walk four blocks to our house on Pine Street, one of the “tree streets” (my husband got his wish!). I see verdant lawns and the Woodmere golf course, an oasis of bird life and greenery across Broadway. Sirens, car alarms and honking may disturb the peace at times, but it’s nothing compared to the ever present din of the city.

I feel blessed to have the best of both worlds; experiencing “the city that never sleeps” while living in our “bedroom community.” My mind craves the stimulation offered across the river, but my body requires the nourishment provided by a suburban lifestyle. It’s the contrast of yin and yang, sweet and savory, mellow and lively that keeps life balanced.

Miriam Bradman Abrahams is Cuban born, Brooklyn bred and lives in Woodmere. Miriam can be reached at mabraha1@optonline.net.