Peace formula: Thanksgiving and our Forefathers

In the aftermath of a horrific tragedy in Israel, a comforting letter composed by widows of the murdered expressed a life-focus that appreciates the role G-d plays in their lives. Combine that with a nod to Thanksgiving, and we proceed.

While the meals in Bereshit share a common theme of thanksgiving — Avraham and Lot are appreciative of their guests, Avraham celebrates his son’s birth, Yitzchak makes peace with Avimelekh and tries to celebrate his relationship with Eisav when sending him to prepare a meal — Yaakov’s meals are somewhat suspect.

The meal served to Eisav can be viewed as a celebratory meal to seal the deal over the cash purchase of a birthright. Yaakov presumably partakes of the meal at his wedding. And he eats with Lavan when they part ways at the end of our parsha.

There is a mishteh celebration at his marriage to Leah, but none when he marries Rachel. Why?

The Midrash Sechel Tov explains that there was only fare at Leah’s celebration because Lavan had “bought” the guests. Everyone knew Lavan was a trickster so no one wanted to come. But he reminded them that they had been blessed with water ever since Yaakov’s arrival (recall the stone on the well episode); having him marry Leah first would preserve his presence in Aram. Lavan convinced everyone to give gifts so Yaakov would think all was legitimate, and then he took the gifts and sold them to pay for the drinks of the mishteh (Avraham made a mishteh gadol – which implies more than just drinks – just like Achashveirosh in the story of Esther).

The Toldos Yitzchak claims that Lavan was cheap, and “only” served drinks, while the Daas Zekenim suggested Lavan’s plan was to get Yaakov drunk so he would not notice Leah was standing where Rachel should have been.

If Lavan was so cheap, why have the party at all? Because, Malbim explains, Lavan needed people to agree to the “rule” he was making up that the older daughter marries first. He had never mentioned it before because it was made up to justify his behavior. And with everyone around agreeing, Yaakov would never suspect such a public rouse.