Ask Aviva: Strangled by marriage


Dear Aviva,

I am a devoted and supportive husband. However, there are times when I feel like my wife makes too many demands on my life. In one recent instance, I had gone to hear a speaker on a Motzei Shabbos and from there had stopped off at a friend’s birthday party. About four hours after I left the house, my wife called me frantically wondering where I was and telling me to come home, since she was anxious as there was police activity going on near our house and she was alone with our baby. I mumbled something about being on a tight leash and she blew up. I later apologized, but sometimes I do feel this way. Is it so wrong to admit that to her? And how to cope with feeling like I really am on a tight leash when my wife thinks otherwise?

— Unleash Me


Dear Unleash Me,

Okay, here we have a real issue (that is actually quite common) and we need to pick your situation apart in order to deal with this properly. Step one: Identify the problem. You feel like you are on a tight leash and you want to change that. The major obstacle in your way is that your wife doesn’t seem to agree with you, so you are not comfortable opening up to her.

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