Parsha Ki Tavo: Hitting in secret

By Rabbi Avi Billet Issue of September 4, 2009 / 15 Elul 5769 The imaginative among us will conjure up a scene of the curse that appears in 27:14: “‘Cursed is he who strikes down his neighbor in secret.’ All the people shall say, ‘Amen.’” Picture a holding cell, with a blindfolded prisoner tied to a chair. An assailant comes, hits the trussed up victim, and leaves him there to wallow in his pain. Or perhaps, we can imagine a dark alley, where a criminal blindsides his intended victim, whether to rob him or for some other reason (or for lack of reason). In either instance, the attacker is cursed. Give a person a chance to fight, a chance to defend himself. Or, better yet, leave him alone. Rashi, who is a little more homiletical in his interpretations, says this “striking down in secret” refers to the sin of Lashon Hara. When your friend is not near you, the things you say which have a damaging impact, even when said in private with only one other person, can have repercussions we can not anticipate. “So-and-so is not such a good doctor.” “I once had a bad experience with so and so, so that means the person is always bad and worth avoiding.” “Did you hear that she is getting divorced? It’s true!” All of these comments lead to more speculation and unnecessary negative comments about others, even and especially when they’re true. The Ktav V’Hakabalah focuses on the word “Re’ehu” — one who strikes down “his neighbor” — saying the word is specific. A person who is not your “neighbor,” or in a more exact definition of the word, your “friendly or beloved” neighbor, i.e. someone who is anti-friendly, who is abrasive and difficult, is not included in this prohibition. He quotes the Jerusalem Talmud that allows a person to speak ill of those who are confrontational, as long as your intentions are for the sake of heaven and to promote peace between other peoples. He continues and explains that this prohibition is different than other Lashon Hara prohibitions we may have seen before, because similar commandments warn against speaking Lashon Hara in front of the object of discussion. Here the discussion is about speaking Lashon Hara in secret — which may be a warning against spreading the “avak lashon hara” — the “dust of Lashon hara.” Examples of the dusty lashon hara include: telling a tale, as if you don’t know whom the tale is about (even though it is obvious, and everyone else knows); saying “Don’t talk about Jeff. I don’t want to know what happened with him”; saying nice things about Fred in front of someone who hates Fred will only cause the ‘enemy’ to say bad things about Fred; telling a parent something bad about his or her child “just so you should be aware” makes them feel doubly horrible. It is also possible that our original images and the interpretations introduced by Rashi and expanded by the Ktav V’Hakabalah can be combined to give us a new approach. We can have wonderful things to say about others, and we can make every effort to never violate someone else’s body using physical violence. But what about the things we do in our innermost hearts? What about when we think evil thoughts, or pray that evil things happen to someone else? What about when we take measures — without using any lashon hara — to cause a competitor’s business to fail?  There are ways to hit people secretly which are underhanded, dirty and downright cruel. What about when we keep secrets from our spouses, the kind that would be extremely hurtful were they to be out in the open? There are secrets that exist between two people, and there are secrets which a person holds deep within his or her own heart. The former will most likely not remain a secret, and the latter does nothing to advance good relationships between people, and to promote peace in our lives and our communities. When the Torah talks about secretive sins, sometimes the secret is between us and God.  Avoidance of this curse is realized when there are no secret feelings, and no secret intentions to harm anyone else.