Is this the little girl I carried, is this the little boy at play?

When my son was married last year, and I went through all the planning stages, and I promised myself that I would never attend another wedding without realizing all the work that goes into its planning. Now I’m going renew that vow as I enter the final two weeks before my daughter’s wedding.

I feel awful when I think of all the times, over the past three decades, that I’ve attended weddings and not given any thought to the time, effort, worrying about the weather, anxiety, decision-making, second-guessing, picking just the right venue and orchestra, checking the extended weather forecast starting two months out, choosing the perfect gown, the most creative florist, indoor chuppah or outdoor chuppah, and the fact that although the venue is not around he corner or in the next town over, there might actually be a good reason it was chosen.

Anyone who has made a wedding — you know what I’m talking about. From the time of the engagement, there are countless decisions to be made. And while, at the time they are being decided upon, each one seems to be of the upmost importance, I know that in the end each will just be part of a much larger picture, and probably won’t be noticed at all.

If I were to ask a man, any man, to describe the flowers on the table, at which he was sitting the night before at a wedding, chances are he would be clueless. Color scheme? Chuppah flowers? How many pieces in the band? Which songs did the bride and groom and all the attendants march down to? Most probably would not have clue. Granted they can tell you how far they drove, if there was internet service (should, a playoff game, G-d forbid, be underway during he wedding) and what they ate.

My husband, being the stepfather, pretty much stayed out of the planning stage. He will make it up dancing (if you can call it that) and being genuinely happy for the couple.