Parenting through positive reinforcement

Classes offered in Hewlett

By Mayer Fertig Ron Markovitz describes himself these days as Mr. Mom. He operates his web design business from home and, as a result, spends more time doing hands-on parenting than, perhaps, some fathers who work outside the home.  His personal quest for better parenting skills has led him to organize a four-part series of parenting classes, titled Happy Parents, Happy Kids: How to manage your children when they misbehave, beginning Nov. 9 at 8:00 p.m. The first two 90-minute sessions are to be held at the Young Israel of Hewlett, with the third and fourth sessions taking place at the Sons of Israel Ganoni Preschool on Irving Place in Woodmere.  Priority Pediatrics is sponsoring the series.  “I'm with the kids so much and ... I don't want to just park them in front of the TV. So I started going to parenting seminars,” he said, and found himself outnumbered. “I went to a parenting class at HAFTR recently and I was the only father. Considering how involved men are with their children — more than ever — I thought it was curious,” said Markovitz. “I started learning what a time-out is for the very first time. When you learn how to do it, you learn how to be consistent,” he explained. “It works much better if there is one place where the kid always goes for the time-out, instead of 'go to the corner,' of whatever room the child is in.” A pair of Israeli-trained behavior modification specialists, Merav Bibas of Cedarhurst, and Vered Brownstein of Manhattan will offer the four sessions. Together, they offer workshops and private consulting in the Five Towns and New York City.  “We talk about reinforcement and how to motivate your child to do the things you want him to do, and not do the things you don't want him to do,” Bibas explained.  “It is not easy to change your child's behavior,” she warned. “It takes some work ... but every parent can do it.”  “We don't have magic words — each child is an individual and different things work on different children. But if you are consistent in what you are doing,” you will change his behavior, she said.  Bibas, who is the mother of a 14-month old, said she and Brownstein have worked in their field successfully for over a decade, working with youngsters age 1 to 18.  Their methods stress the positive, Bibas said.  “If you reinforce good behaviors you don't have to use punishments.” Markovitz is apparently looking forward to the classes as much as anyone. “No one teaches you how to parent — there's no handbook,” he said. This is not a profit-making venture for Markovitz, who also hopes, at some point in the future, to create a series of lectures on marriage at the Young Israel of Hewlett.  The cost to attend the series is $150 per person; $200 for couples. For more information and to register call Harriet Gefen at 516-374-0655 or contact her via email, hagefencsoi@aol.com.