Labels make and unmake the man

My husband Jerry came home from minyan yesterday morning and said his friend Steve Kollander asked if he had any polo collared shirts that weren’t black. Jerry replied, “I also have blue.” We both laughed as we recalled the time about a two years ago when Jerry’s mom pulled him aside and told him she had something very important to discuss with him.

“You look terrible,” she said.

“You don’t dress like a gentleman. Throw away all the orange, red and bright green shirts. I don’t care if they were a good buy, they are ‘narish’ looking, and not for you.”

Jerry asked if this was really important to her, and when she responded it was, we put the shirts in a bag to donate and Jerry went to the Polo outlet and bought 15 short-sleeved collared (golf) shirts in blue and black for casual days at work during the summer. He also bought a dozen button-down long-sleeved dress shirts in white. All complete with the horse Polo logo.

It reminded Jerry of his camp days, when his mom went to the Lower East Side and bought two dozen collared short sleeve shirts all the same green color with the “penguin” logo. They went well with the dozen khaki business casual slacks and dark colored walking shorts, the kind that butterfly catchers wear, which went well with the black socks that he wore with his non-basketball Keds. Never mind that short gym shorts, T-shirts, white ankle socks and Chuck Taylor All Star Converse (the original) were in style then.

His mom made it clear to him and his brother Seme that she wanted them to look like “balabatish young men,” or as their friends would describe, complete nerds.

So here it is, 47 years later, and he’s still getting chastised by his friends for what he’s wearing.

Since this Sunday is visiting day, I thought I’d write a bit about summer in my day as compared to today.

Can you imagine if the kids of today were to spend one day, as we did all those summers ago? Ok kids, picture this; your typical day would involve spending time in front of the TV. You can only watch the channel that has the old time shows: The Love Boat, Fantasy Island, Gilligan’s Island and my favorite, Charlie’s Angels. Who didn’t want to be a stunning detective with a perfect figure in fabulous clothes and gorgeous blond hair? I certainly did!!

Next on the list is...you get to eat whatever you want. No organic chips, vegan pastries, free range eggs, or quinoa. Fruits and veggies have pesticides, rice is white and drinks are sugary and have red dye in it. Oh, and plenty of sugar, no Splenda, or agave.

You can play outside all day long. If you’re thirsty, drink from the hose. You hot? You can go to the local Y and swim in the pool till your hair turns a shade lighter due to the amount of chlorine in it (even though you girls are wearing those attractive rubber bathing caps).

You like arts and crafts? You’re in luck! You can create things, from “things” you find in the house. No trips to Michael’s or art supply stores. And no Googling it either. Be creative.

Try putting on plays. I used to make my friends put on plays with me all the time. Ask Fay, Lynn, Lisa and Henny. We put on plays, whether they liked to or not. Come on girls, admit it, it was fun and it’s not like I was able to upload it to YouTube or post it to Facebook. Kids today should try it sometimes; no themes, no rules just use your imagination!

For those of you in sleep away camp, imagine visiting day (this Sunday for most of you), the way I would have experienced it. No matter what time visiting day started, if a parent came a bit early they were let on campus. Today, I like to think of visiting day as the running of the Jews. Simulating the California gold rush (Miner 49’ers.) Everyone is forbidden to step past a certain imaginary line — trust me, I tried; the punishment was not pretty. As soon as the clock strikes 11:00 AM it begins. Grown men, women and grandparents, arms laden with snacks, drinks and gifts all running down the road or cramming onto buses to see the kids they haven’t seen in three whole weeks. Did we bring enough snacks? Drinks? All the stuff that we told our kids to cut down on during the year we are now basically making sure they are having three times a day. Ahhhhhh … memories.

So whether your kids or grandchildren are home this summer, in a day camp or at sleep away, be nice if you see a kid or two in an outfit that isn’t the height of fashion. And if one of them is wearing a penguin logo shirt, think of Jerry.

Here is a fun, easy to make snack that goes well at a brunch, poolside lunch or as a decoration on a lox platter.

Black Olive Penguins

Ingredients

18 extra large pitted black olives, drained

18 small pitted black olives, drained

8 ounces cream cheese (bar) room temperature and softened

16 thin slices of the fat end of a peeled carrot

Green long ends of the scallions microwaved for ten seconds to soften them

18 pieces of red pickled peppers cut thin

Toothpicks

Directions

Cut a small triangular wedge out of each carrot slice.Use a skewer or toothpick to push the narrow end of a carrot triangle through the wide hole of each small olive until it pokes out the narrow pitted hole. Make a lengthwise slice halfway into each large olive. Gently hold the olive open and push as much cream cheese into the opening as you can, filling the olive. Use your finger to smooth the cream cheese so it’s flush with the olive.

Place a filled olive, large hole side down, on a carrot round, lining up the white of the cream cheese with the wedge cut from the carrot round. Use a toothpick pushed down through the center to hold the “chest” of the penguin to the “feet.” Push one head, “beak” side lined up with the “chest” and “feet” down onto the toothpicks.

Decorate you penguins with a scallion scarf, red pepper scarf or leave as is.

Use the photo as your guide.

Columnist@TheJewishStar.com