Kosher critic: Poutine’s ‘Perk’

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There is no better bar food on earth than poutine. First made in 1950s Quebec, poutine is a dish comprised of French fries topped with cheese curds and gravy. Sadly, the fact that Poutine is traditionally made with cheese and meat gravy means that it’s not readily available to kosher consumers. Luckily Poutine has recently breached the American kosher market thanks in part to the sheer culinary absurdity inherent in drenching fries with cheese and meat sauce. Let’s face it, Poutine (pronounced Poo-Tea-Ne) is an exceptionally funny name for a food. Currently there are two kosher locations in the New York metro area that serve Poutine.
The first is at Moca Bleu in Teaneck and the second is at Central Perk in Cedarhurst.
Moca Bleu which serves as Teaneck’s only passable sit down dairy restaurant, serves its Poutine as either a single serving or family size offering. It uses a deep almost bowl like dish which is filled with thick cut fries ladled on a brown gravy cover it with mozzarella and put it in their cherry wood burning oven until the cheese has melted. The effect is a fry that requires a fork but is well worth it.
It is gooey, crispy and delicious. I personally like their choice of using thick cut fries. It allows for the flavor of the potato to stand its own against the cheese and gravy. My one complaint is that the gravy is a little watery and doesn’t adhere to the fries as well as I would like.
Central Perk’s fries are crispier than those at Moca Bleu, though I am unaware of how, exactly, they are prepared — due in large part to having been distracted by a gaggle of boisterous tweens whose inane conversation pierced my eardrums and caused my soul to die a little.
The finished product, however, was quite good. The fries remained relatively crisply despite being coated in a layer of melted cheese and mushroom gravy. I particularly liked the use of the mushroom gravy as it gave an extra level of depth to the Poutine. The little bits of mushroom also gave the dish a pleasantly meaty texture.
Personally, though I like both of these restaurants’ adaptation of the Poutine, I enjoy making my own fleishig version. I make my own thick French fries, retaining the potato skins, but you can pretty much use any frozen fries available. I cut up and sauté the cheapest cut of meat I can find with spices, shallots and mushrooms and I add it to a mixture of packaged beef broth mixed with a simple roux made from margarine and flower. Then in a food processor I add a cup of pepper jack Daiya, a tapioca based cheese substitute, and half a cup of flavorless silken tofu. I blend until smooth, add a few heavy dashes of hot sauce and crack two eggs into this “cheese” mixture and blend once more.
Imperative to getting this right is making sure that the fries are hot as blazes when you add the “cheese.” Because of the eggs, the mixture will curdle when it hits the heat of the fries and make your “cheese” sauce act like actual cheese. Once you have added your “cheese” to your fries ladle a healthy dose of your meat gravy over the dish. What you will have is a dish that works as a snack, a meal or even a side. I like mine with a good India Pale Ale but feel free to enjoy yours alcohol free.

Zechariah Mehler is a widely published food writer and expert in social marketing. Follow him on Twitter @thekoshercritic